So I’m laying in bed just thinking of my friends and best friend and it hit me that craig orman is my 2nd best friend right now but he was my 1st friend in the Ames school district and even today i remember the 1st day of school in 8th grade and how i meet him and all of my best friends that i have now but i won’t tell that now I’ll save that story for later.
I have been sitting in a dark room for the past hour now and I have been feeling like I should have done something different today but I don’t know what so here I am, sitting here sulking around feeling like a sack of shit and don’t have a reasoning. Isn’t that called depression? I have no clue anymore, i’m not sure of anything any more and I know that I should ask for help but inside one of the worst things I can do to myself is ask for help. I don’t know why I don’t but I can’t allow myself to ask another person for help ever.
Okay so i’m sitting here playing battlefield 3 and it just dawned on me that i have AMAZING BEST FRIENDS, then i have good friends and then that guy/girl i know and say hi to every once and a while. But for some reason i still feel like im all alone in this world full of happy lively people and then there’s me :|…….
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“Ah, i am weary of this fight, Claudia. Not because im tired, but because our struggle seems to move in one direction only… toward chaos. Today i have more question than answers. This is why i have come so far: To find clarity. To find the wisdom left behind by the great Altair, so that i may better understand the purpose of our fight and my place in it.”
I regret being born every single day i wake up but I still thank the lord for everyday he gives me, why? Because I might not know why I am here but everyday I wake up and see the sun outside shining it gives me hope that one day I will know my meaning for my life.
So i didn’t go to school today because I just plain didn’t feel like getting out of bed! :D
